EDITORIAL
BY KRISTOPHER SEALS
Hello Readers,
“You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?…” Burton, T. (1989). Batman. Warner Bros.
This was one of the coolest movie quotes ever. I know that I’m going to date myself a little, but I saw it with my parents at the Essex Green movie theater when it came out all those years ago.
That is what I want to talk about: the phrase “movie theater.” It’s gotten to the point where movie theaters have become an endangered species. Irvington’s Castle Twin, the Ironbound on Foundry Street, Union on Stuyvesant Avenue, East Orange on Central Avenue, Caldwell on Bloomfield Avenue, cinemas in Maplewood and inside SOPAC, Parsippany off of Routes 46 and 202, one in Succasunna on Route 10, and so many more I simply cannot remember. All the theaters in those locations: RIP.
To all the theaters that survived the strange back and forth with movie studios and the pandemic: Thank You. I appreciate you hanging on.
The movie theater experience is one I cherish. The big screen, the popcorn, the “not buying a drink because I don’t want to have to get up and go to the bathroom and miss something.”
Yes, there are some pitfalls. The tickets are expensive. The food costs a ton. Some loudmouth people in the back of the theater acting out of pocket. The 30 minutes of previews. Nicole Kidman holding up the movie to bloviate about how much she loves the movie theater experience – all while ruining OUR movie theater experience – after the 30 minutes of previews. Wasting money on the occasional flop. (In 2011, I saw Green Lantern… [BLEEP]. RYAN. REYNOLDS!)
My biggest dream is for one of the screenplays I write or my novel “Every Waking Moment” to become a motion picture and play on the big screen. The only question is would I win an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay or Best Adapted Screenplay since it’s adapted from my book. No worries. I’ll take either one.
(You can find Every Waking Moment on Amazon. It’s the one with the black and white cover with the bloody crown. A lot of people call their novel “Every Waking Moment” for some reason. Be advised: It’s a binge book. You know how you binge-watch all the episodes of a show in a day. Yeah, my novel is like THAT.)
So, what triggered this ode to the big screen? The news that Netflix is trying to buy Warner Bros. Yes, the very studio responsible for my nostalgic movie theater experience of seeing “Batman” back in 1989. It’s $82 billion plus, and if they get their way, there’s the threat of everything going on the small screen instead of the theater. Yikes.
Fortunately, the “Dark Knight” in shining armor could be Paramount, who pulled up with a “hostile bid” of over $108 billion. A “hostile bid” happens when parties discuss matters behind closed doors, only for one of them to go public with a bid rather than in private, thus bypassing the other company’s board and management. So, even though the board and C-suite seem to like the Netflix particulars, especially with spinning off the Discovery networks, the shareholders will yell, “Hey, take the bigger deal!” I have an MBA, and the first commandment of the corporate world is usually: Put nothing before thy profits.
So, for all intents and purposes, I’m rooting for one set of overpuffed wealthy guys to beat another set of overpuffed wealthy guys. This is 2025 folks.
They say if you put things on paper, they will come to pass. So, here goes. I WILL be able to see movies and other things in movie theaters on the big screen. I WILL have my writing transformed into feature length productions that will grace those screens. I WILL win at least one Academy Award. I WILL have enough stroke to have one of those fancy contracts where I can declare that Nicole Kidman and Ryan Reynolds are among the people I won’t work with.
“So let it be written… so let it be done…” DeMille, C. (1956). The Ten Commandments. Paramount.
Have a nice week. If there’s any typos, sorry in advance. No one gives me time to look over my writing anymore, so there you go.
