FROM THE PASTOR’S HEART
OP / ED BY DR. ROBERT KENNEDY
In a world where self-esteem is overemphasized, one might find it contradictory to accept an instruction like the above, “Consider others better than yourselves.”
But we do well to heed it because selfish ambition and constant competition are causing great harm to our relationships within our churches, families, friendships, neighborhoods, classrooms, leadership, teams, politics, and society.
The devil, let’s blame him momentarily, is finding every reason to make us strive against one another. One of the prominent fictions of American public life today is race. But it makes one group think they are better than the other.
Yes, the color of one’s skin is thought to be better than that of the other. Antisemitism is another problem, built on the same root as race. It is focused on the selfish desire of one group to obliterate the other. It’s the desire to be better than the other. It is built on narcissism.
It is said that what promotes narcissism is the focus on self-importance. Among the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are:
- The sense of self-importance.
- Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success.
- The feeling of entitlement.
- A deep need to be around people who consider themselves unique.
- Interpersonally exploitative for their gain.
- Strife for exposure.
- Lack of empathy.
- The attitude that one must be admired.
- Being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them.
- Taking credit that belongs to others.
- Comparing the self with others.
- Want to win at all costs, even if it requires cheating.
A surprising thing is that the desire for self-importance is not unique. It is a tendency that is embedded in all of us. It feeds upon our insecurities. It is profoundly conceited. It starts in subtle, secretive, and seductive ways. One might only sense its presence in its full bloom; sometimes, it takes someone else to point it out. It is a legacy that has been around from the moment the serpent went to the holy couple in the Garden of Eden and told them that they could become like God, and they fell for the lie. (cf. Genesis 3).
Paul understood it well when he gave the kind of instruction that he did to the members of the church in his letter to the Philippians, “Consider others better than yourselves.” (cf. 2:3). Look at the near context of the passage in which he gives the instruction, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his interests but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:3-5, NKJV). You can see that Paul is attacking the falsehood of self-esteem – selfishness, false ambition, conceit, and pride. He knew the potential of these evils and that they would allow his church and the families in it to be destroyed.
In effect, Paul knew that any possibility for more effective relationship, that that produced by the falsehood of self-esteem, depended, among other things, on the following.
- Rooting out the desire to put oneself first in everything.
- Humility – Being willing to take a lower seat.
- Genuine biblical love – The sacrificial love that follows that of Jesus Christ.
- Respecting others as oneself or, as Jesus said, above oneself.
- Serving others with the kind of meekness and empathy that Christ served.
- Self-denial – Being willing to pass by an opportunity that will hurt another.
- Putting aside your insecurities.
- Only sometimes, have the desire to win.
- Laying aside the sense of entitlement.
- Being willing to share the credit with the other.
Yes, considering others better than ourselves might not be easy, but by the grace of God, it is possible.
