FROM THE PASTOR’S HEART
OP / ED BY DR. ROBERT KENNEDY
If you have read the above scriptural appeal, you are likely saying as I am, how appropriate. It needs to be directed to all of us because, in whatever circumstance we are meeting people these days, there seems to be manifestations of unkindness and resentfulness, at least in America, such as has hardly been seen in many decades.
The pathetic thing is that unkindness and resentfulness are promoted as better virtues than kindness and compassion. Yes, some people across the spectrum of the political culture of the day think it is “cute” to encourage the “nasty” and “mean” people who seek to take the joy away from other people. Whether the latter will hear the appeal, I do not know, but to anyone willing to listen, I say we need to take the encouragement, “Be kind and compassionate to one another.” (Ephesians 4:32)
When the apostle Paul gave the above instruction, he noted, “All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31), because only then can one “Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32, the complete quote).”
You might be wondering why the emphasis on kindness and compassion, so I offer the following nine points.
- Empathy: That is the ability to understand how someone feels. It is trying to put ourselves in the place of others. When we relate with empathy, we give the other person space to own their emotions and feelings.
- Helpfulness: Doing something to be supportive of others. Going beyond our isolation to serve others.
- Listening: It means giving attention to another. Being present in a conversation – Observing with the eyes, ears, and body, allowing the other to know you are there.
- Generosity: Giving good things to others freely and abundantly from whatever resources are available. Generous behaviors are intended to enhance the well-being of others.
- Gentleness (Genteelness): The quality of calmness and mildness that is deep within helps us to be around the most challenging people.
- Tenderheartedness: A warm, caring feeling towards others. That deep awareness of and sympathy for another’s suffering.
- Humility: Having an attitude of modesty about oneself. It comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things.
- Patience: Having the capacity to accept delay, trouble, or suffering without complaining, getting angry or upset.
- Courage: Not easily swayed by every changing wind. I am rejecting all negative feelings from the heart.
I have made sure to attach the last virtue of courage to what is needed with kindness and compassion because I want to ensure that no one will confuse compassion with compromising. There are individuals who are compassion to promote lifestyles and behaviors that are profoundly destructive, therefore one has must ask, whether what is being done is helpful or not. Some time ago, I read a long article that says substantively, one of the biggest confusions in today’s world is confusing kindness and compassion.
The truth is that to be kind or compassionate does not always look like being ‘nice.’ Having a ‘pleasant disposition’ does not mean always making others happy. Sometimes kindness means disappointing other people, even making them angry.
Yes, sometimes kindness and compassion are difficult to explain. When it demands saying NO, some people take it harshly. For example, if someone keeps asking for money and then spending it on drugs, alcohol, or racking up unnecessary debt, it’s kinder to refuse to lend them more money and look for other ways to support them on their journey than it is to keep enabling them. It might be nicer (and feel more comfortable) to lend or give them more money in the short term, but that’s not helping them in the long term (and it’s probably not helping you either). If someone is struggling with unhealthy behaviors or patterns, sometimes it is kinder to let them face the consequences of their actions than to keep enabling them to continue.
Do I need to say more? While I have talked about not confusing compassion with compromise, I do not want you to be so cautious that you forget to be vulnerable. Open your heart and do all you can to be a blessing to someone today, because our world cannot survive without the kindness and compassion that reflects the love that comes from the divine.
