FROM THE PASTOR’S HEART
OP / ED BY DR. ROBERT KENNEDY
Individuals who have been married for a long time have learned that there is one virtue above all that has kept them together, and if their marriage is to last (into old age), they need to develop that virtue. Parents and leaders have also learned that their successes depend on the development of such a virtue.
The virtue of which I speak is patience. One proverb says, “Patience is a virtue.” As described, patience is the ability to wait for something without getting frustrated or upset. It is the quality or trait that many consider morally excellent or desirable.
The importance of patience cannot be overstated. For this reason, it is added to every virtue list in the Bible and even secular literature. On the list of his additives, as an old preacher acquaintance of mine used to call it, the apostle Peter encouraged: “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; “And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; “And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.” (2 Peter 1:5-7 KJV, my emphasis)
Interestingly, some people have a rather negative view of patience, thinking it’s an excuse for procrastination or delay, and therefore, they suggest that one needs to promote the idea that “impatience is a virtue.” But those who promote impatience must understand that such is causing much of the tragedy of brokenness we are experiencing today.
Impatience is not a virtue. It is a sin, a weakness, a fruit of pride, lust, and false passion that creates anger, frustration, conflict, stress, and hurt. Anyone who promotes impatience instead of patience will notice that they cannot sustain effective relationships and achieve personal growth.
Yes, patience is a virtue, and we need to make every effort for its development in our lives. In my personal life, as a husband for just about 53 years, in my parenting, and my professional life as a pastor and professor, I have learned that patience is one of the most necessary ingredients I can ever have. My wife could write her piece on developing patience with me, for she knows how much my drive to accomplish things has often made me impatient. She has had to deal with my quirks and has gone out of her way to tolerate me. I bless her for being so patient with me. Without her patience, we would constantly be butting heads.
If you are ever asking how you can learn to be patient. I offer the following seven suggestions:
- Learn humility – Pride makes for impatience.
- Communicate carefully – Listen before you speak.
- Learn empathy – Put yourself in the place of others.
- Reflect – Do not jump to conclusions.
- Be realistic in your expectations.
- Learn how to negotiate for win-wins and when to compromise.
- Learn forgiveness – We all will fail sometimes, so forgive yourself and others.
The apostle Paul understood that keeping unity in a community demanded patience and offered this counsel: “Be patient with one another” (cf. Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13). The point is that patience leads to a life of victory. And so we find the comment upon those who are victorious in faith in Hebrews 12:1, 2 (KJV):
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Emphasis mine).
The point of emphasis in this piece is that we need to practice patience in all our relationships. Any expert will tell you about the need for patience. Those who win games will tell you about patience. Yes, patience is a crucial ingredient in a successful life. To be a faithful servant of God, you must have patience.
