FROM THE PASTOR’S HEART / BY DR. ROBERT KENNEDY OP-ED
Because of its epoch-making nature, I know many people watched or listened to Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee for her appointment to the United States Supreme Court. If confirmed, Jackson will fill Justice Stephen Breyer’s upcoming vacancy and become the first Black woman to serve on the nation’s highest court.
At the end of each day’s hearing, many news analysts were asked to examine or asked, “What are the takeaways for the day?” And the answers were diverse and interesting because they seem to be affected by the varied political perspectives. I do not know how you will judge me, but I too have my takeaways and will not be repeating them all here, but there are two that appealed to me most: (1) The constant reference of Judge Jackson to her grandmother and parents regarding the contributions that they have made to her drive for education and the consistency of her faith. (2) The calmness of the Judge under the crudeness of certain Senators who questioned her.
I linger on the second takeaway, for Judge Jackson met the rudeness of one senator who seemed so overwhelmed by his resentment toward her that he stormed out of the confirmation room. Another senator seemed quite agitated as he posed several questions about “Critical Race Theory,” and Judge Jackson responded that such a concept did not come up in her work. As I watched how agitated he was, I wanted to intervene and offer an answer that had nothing to do with CRT, although I was not in the room. I wanted to tell the senator that children learn what they see and hear, racism or anything else from their parents.
Here is what Dorothy Law Nolte says:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
One other senator later joined the others, in the same strain of dander pretending that they were profoundly concerned about Jackson’s lenient judgment against porn offenders. The Judge finally had the chance to address what many have said to be the most contentious allegations levied against her, namely that the claims that she’s soft on child porn offenders is a myth that has been debunked again and again. She stated that “nothing could be further from the truth.”
I have listed the two takeaways, the one that I consider a profound blessing on Judge Jackson and all who have grandparents and parents like hers. The second that I consider a curse on those trying to peddle falsehoods to score political points and gain an advantage so they can use for political advertising. The particular curse I reference is that on many children who might have been watching or listening or who will read the transcripts of the hearing for historical reports. It gives me pause as I think of how much children will learn about the crudeness or rudeness of the adults in the room.
When I see the negative actions of such adults or parents in general, I reflect on the biblical phrase used by fathers in the nation of Israel, “The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” The fathers (parents) were the ones who ate the sour grapes, but the children’s teeth were set on edge. Another way that the Bible records the saying is that the iniquity of the fathers (parents) would be passed on to the third and fourth generations (Cf. Exodus 20:5; Numbers 14:18; Deuteronomy 5:9).
The above is of interest because, in the prophetic writings such as Ezekiel and Jeremiah, when the parents seemed to have been using the phrase to make excuses for their lack of responsibility for the waywardness of their children, the prophets’ challenge to them was that a time would come when people will no longer say, ‘The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’ (Jeremiah 31:29 NIV).
In following the prophets, I acknowledge that if our children break away from their parents’ cursed patterns, their lives will turn out to be a blessing. The fact of intergenerational sin, guilt, and punishment is not a fiat accompli. However, that does not deny that what we do as adults and parents greatly influence our children. As most educators will share, “Education is caught, not taught.”
It’s hard to find fault with the truism that children usually do suffer from their parent’s mistakes. Ancient Israel embedded its own communal experience of intergenerational guilt and punishment in its understanding of God’s justice, which “visits the iniquity of the parents upon the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation” (Exodus 34:7).
And while, in many cases, we might not seek to attribute children’s behavior and suffering to their parents, we cannot deny the impact of our negative behavior on subsequent generations. If you doubt my analysis, please visit a psychologist’s or psychotherapist’s room and speak with them. They will tell you that “As the root, so grows the tree.”
Let’s endeavor to think more carefully about what we pass on to our children. A blessing or a curse?
