EDITORIAL
BY KRISTOPHER SEALS
Hello Readers,
I know… I know… We’re past Thanksgiving now. But hey… My Editorial, My Rules…
Question: Why did the turkey stand in the middle of the road?
Answer #1: It’s trying to hide after getting caught having an affair at a Coldplay concert.
Answer #2: It plays for the Giants.
Answer #3: It used to play for the Jets.
Answer #4: It’s trying to find the Epstein files.
Answer #5: After that, it’ll try to find the mythical algorithm Cami Anderson used to place students in Newark’s schools. (Yup. Still remember. Still ain’t letting it go.)
Answer #6: It wants to find Sydney Sweeney’s jeans (or is it “genes” … who knows.)
Answer #7: It needs to rest for a moment after walking for miles. (It can’t fly because the Department of Transportation still hasn’t figured out how to make planes show up on time.)
Answer #8: It’s trying to stand longer than Cory Booker did on the Senate floor. (Congrats by the way!)
Answer #9: It doesn’t remember if its… 6… 7 feet away from the curb (kids go nuts for some reason).
Answer #10: It’s holding an impromptu “No Kings” Protest.
Happy Holidays.
