THE OBSERVATION BOOTH
OP / ED & PHOTO CREDITS ANDREA DIALECT
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MEAN MUGGIN
By the third time he came in with that hook, “Woof, woof, where my dogs at?” my rapid reply had been, “My dog is gone,” as my boy DMX sang in that beloved raspy voice. Wow, he’s gone too. Despite not knowing a single word beyond that one-liner, that hook had instantly brought a smile to my face. (Google the rap song for reference, like I did.) Undoubtedly, as always, the hook was all I’d needed.
Surprisingly, there I was — thrown into the familiar past of a memory. Standing in the kitchen making grub, in front of the sink filling pots with water, peering ahead. Simultaneously, I look into those three rooms of that open floor plan. It happens once again. I see my daddy sitting there in the dining room at the table, eyes gazing unintentionally ahead, profile locked toward the left.
My mama, in the living room, sat on the comfy sectional looking into the television screen, her profile locked in the right. Her warming glow and pleasant smile triumphed Daddy’s mean muggin hands down. Those signature lines etched across Mr. Brown’s forehead were accompanied by one of the angriest frowns I’d ever seen painted across a face—and that’s the way the cookie crumbled.
Time slowed. I was locked in that moment seemingly for a lifetime. It was dark and cold. DMX’s rap song (google the reference “Where My Dogs At”) was playing on repeat, slapping me in and out of consciousness over and over again. My mother had been placed so far in the distance that Mama had been forgotten. So logically, it wasn’t about her. It was about Him and me.
The last time that I saw my father alive is one of the most profound moments we have shared. Scanning my archived memories, to date Daddy was one of the most happy-go-lucky people I’ve ever known. Bouts of anger were few and rarely displayed. But now he’s staring at me. Those eyes are now cold. Now that sunny disposition’s far gone. I called out to him to make it stop because I couldn’t take it. It was our last conversation.
Those words echoed back at me—presented with a snarl was comical but cutting like a knife “Yeah right!” was his response. Eyes squinting, teeth clenched. Although the words that pounced on me after I’d said “I love you!” may sound suspect or confusing to others, in my defense, had I needed it, I suppose doctors would call it a trait of dementia. But I’d beg to differ.
The most profound moment that I shared with my father is convicting, lingers closely, and I opt to adhere. Those precious moments I cherish — it’s a private affair between me and my dad — so you’ll be left hanging today.
But I will say that when that hook comes to mind, as it often does over and over again, I quickly holla back “woof, woof,” snickering while mimicking DMX’s raspy voice. Yes, my dog is gone — but in my heart is where he’s at and shall always be! (Google that “dog” slang word too if you need to.)
But between me and you, my takeaway from what my daddy said and didn’t ? Let’s just say those etched lines on the forehead, the fire in his eyes, the snarl of his voice, and that mug that looked so mean —: “Yeah right.” just like my daddy said. All jokes aside, Yeah,” I smile and giggle less now while focusing more on doing what’s right. Woof, woof — How about you?
DID YOU KNOW….
Dementia is a term used to describe a group of symptoms affecting memory, thinking and social abilities. In people who have dementia, the symptoms interfere with their daily lives. Dementia isn’t one specific disease. Several diseases can cause dementia. Dementia generally involves memory loss.
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