THE OBSERVATION BOOTH
OP / ED & PHOTOS BY ANDREA DIALECT
I noticed that gait well before I’d noticed the prosthetic leg, which made it even more interesting despite my being hidden by those large-scale marbleized columns peering below the library’s massive concrete steps, which heightened my view and elevated my stance. It was Wool and Brass at its finest. Repin Mocha masculinity as should; doin’ us proud.
I had the title for this one before I’d met the man. In some ways, it reminded me of a classic fairytale that once upon a time was true to life. It reminded me of the way my daddy walked, my uncles and the men at church, and those I’d see in passing and seemingly everywhere. It’s that PBA that says head games are tight and confidence perfectly fit.
It’s the Swagga dip check that runs deep. It makes you bow down, as I often do to those who have come before me and us, those who give of themselves unselfishly, and those who do us proud being who they are and looking damn good while they’re at it. I often bow as people watching when in those Hoodscapes. They are the makings of notable folktales.
Strutting proudly in oneself in this parade that we call life can be a solo act when you’re all that which usurps crowds in costumes moving in formation as being oblivious to onlookers. He exhibited a perfect fit in that skin while displaying the lack of. Those ripped jeans rolled up, one leg up, one down, metal work shown, and those kicks are part of a look.
Making one aspire to be bout it, bout it when walking it out or demand the kind of R-E-S-P-E-C-T that makes passersby trip over their own feet and onlookers gaze in a daze when they clear that path. Countering those apologetic gaits that are now often seen around these parts seemingly everywhere.
When heads are dropped low or awkwardly raised, mouths shout and scream theatrical plays unconvincingly vying for such attention, making movement such a bore. Strut on!
BACKWARDS MARCH
What else do you want to know about my life? I could have quit, but I won’t. I’m not into rehashing that part of my past. I ain’t worried about that no more. If I worry about that, I can’t continue to go up. I want to see the glory in what happens; the heck with what happened. – Kenneth
“My cardiologist had come downstairs, and he saw me in the prep room and asked, ‘What are you doing here?’ I told him what had happened and that they would be giving me another cut below the knee because gangrene had returned.
“When he looked at it, He just told me that I might as well cut the whole leg off to get on with my life. He was on his way to do a procedure. He would be back in twenty minutes, and when he returned, I had to decide. I am a fighter, so during my first two weeks in Kessler Rehab, I was going beyond what they thought I should do. From jump, at that point, I had already put it in my head that this would not stop me from living my life. Even when that meant making that twenty-minute decision, after that talk, I decided that He was probably right, you know what I mean.
“I didn’t want them cutting on me and cutting on me every two years. In other words, if it came back three times and started with the toenail, then after when trying to when doctor on it myself and then there I was again. The comeback was likely because the gangrene was up to the bottom of my calf at that point and probably even further up, but we didn’t know it. So that made sense.
EMPEROR’S GROOVE
“On my first day at Kessler Rehab Center, they tried to get me to do something that initially wasn’t really exercising, if you ask me. It came across as some placebo workout and prep session. It was more like, ‘You’re going to be okay, don’t worry; many people have lost their leg before.’ But I’m more like one of those ‘get out of my face, get out of my way’ kind of people when it comes to a challenge, and so I’m like. ‘Nah, I gotta go.’
“And I’m over there, here and hopping all over the place and doing this and that, then they’re like Mr. Paige you’re going to fall and hurt yourself, and I’m like, ‘I Don’t Care. Just Let Me Go. If I sit here and let you baby me, I’ll be a little B!’
“My brain had to learn how to do this. It was in shock. It was like, where’s the other leg? You don’t realize what you got until you lose it. I couldn’t sleep on one side for the rest of my life. For me, it will always feel like that leg is still there because the nerve that operates it will always be there; they just short-circuited it, so when people ask that question, it’s yes. Because all the nerves are up here, it started in my brain, and then it ran, getting into my thighs all the way down to my toes. Even though they short-circuited the whole cord, the nerves are still there. It’s not rocket science; this is real simple. Every now and again, I’m going to feel that toe itch.
“People have to think outside of the box about these types of things. They gotta toughen up! We’re just too soft today. I come from a people where my grandmother had fourteen boys. She sewed them up, and pulled bullets out of ‘em. There was no health care back then. So do you think I’m going to be around here rolling around in a wheelchair? Nah, I don’t even come from that. I like to go hard with everything I do.
“I still haven’t mastered walking like I walk to my natural ability yet, and it’s been a little over ten years now. Losing my leg at fifty-five, and I’m now sixty-five, and even though you think I’m walking fluidly, I still have discomfort with my walk and stance, but it can be better, and I can’t do anything else but get better. I won’t settle for less.
“I come from two great families, Paige and Blue. I strut like a man that I do, but still, in many respects, I’m not ready. I’m confident that I will be better than what you see today. That confidence comes from a certain level of training, a certain level of rest, and diet. I have to mention all these things because they count in this push.
“The only message I could give to a person who is losing a limb or has is the truth of the matter: if you’re going to give up or give in to, ‘Whoa is me,’ and you can’t stand the pain. If you ain’t ready for Revolution 101, you should check out now. I ain’t got no time for that. Man up or Woman up. I watch men out there with two legs and everything else giving up, which is crazy. You have to be determined to live even if you F up; just be the best F up you can be. That’s it!
PROCLAMATIONS
“It was negligence on the part of the state. I was incarcerated the latter part of my life, and I had an infected toe, and New Jersey Corrections didn’t do anything to care for it properly. It had gangrene, and on the day of my release, I had to have the toe cut off, and that is where the complications started. I eventually found out that I had poor circulation and things of that nature. (Gangrene looks mossy and mucus filled. It has a pus-filled appearance and infection)
“Thirty days before my release was when the problem actually started. I was dropping notes to the doctor asking to be seen. Telling them that I needed my foot looked at, but nobody paid me any attention; the nail kept digging in, and it got worst. It got to the point that I couldn’t put on my shoe.
“All this deterioration took place in about thirty days. I tried to bring this issue to the courts, but I was told that it was my fault and that the poor circulations had been the problem instead of the apparent malpractice on their part. I’m still having difficulty finding counsel or an attorney to take on my case and stay the course. I have been fighting for this for about thirteen years now.
TIME CAPSULE\
“After my release from prison, they cut off half of my big toe. Things were going good that was in August. My release date was August 12th. By February, it was doing good, and a girl stepped on it. I was at a party, and she stepped on it while I was in the healing process, and from that point forward, that’s when the real complications started.
“During that time, my insurance had lapsed, and many hospitals didn’t want to accept me as a patient for whatever reason. So I was trying to doctor it myself by using peroxide. I thought I was keeping it clean. But I’d find out later on that you’re not supposed to use peroxide on raw flesh. It is only for abrasions and rinsing your mouth out and stuff like that. But for a wound, it would be iodine.
“So it got infected again, and the doctor had to cut the whole big toe off, and then I began to have complications because of the wound debridement procedure I needed once a week. Debridement is when they cut the flesh to make it bleed so that the blood can make the wound heal faster. This procedure consisted of him taking a scalpel and cutting like he was carving meat. He’d spray a little numbing stuff on it, no need to go to sleep, and then I’m watching him with that scalpel going deeper and deeper into my foot.
“Then after that, gangrene came back two years later because, on July 19th, 2013, I had that twenty-minute decision to make. Originally the plan was to cut below the knee. At that point, I was thinking, I’m going to go in here; they’re going to cut me below the knee, and I’ll still be able to run, walk, do what I want to do.
“But like Doctor Holmes told me that by then, mentally, I’d be pretty beaten up. That’s when he said go ahead, get it cut off, and go on with your life. That’s the choice I decided to make, and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.”
DID YA KNOW THAT…
THE FLIPSIDE OF THE TITLE
“The Emperor’s New Clothes” is a literary folktale written by Danish author Hans Christian Andersen, about a vain emperor who gets exposed before his subjects. The tale has been translated into over 100 languages. “The Emperor’s New Clothes” was first published with “The Little Mermaid” in Copenhagen, by C.A., Wikipedia.
Today’s world in a nutshell…
Phrase of Emperor
- used in reference to a situation in which people believe or pretend to believe in the worth or importance of something that is worthless, or fear to point out an obvious truth that is counter to prevailing opinion.
The Observation Booth is utilized as a space for Andrea Dialect to stumble through, which aids in life and brand development. It can also be used by readers, subjects, and features to assist or advance our world or their own. It is a peek into one’s world from the outside. It is also for the development of content. Everything printed here is in draft form; thus, error is welcomed and to be expected. Everything is constantly evolving, is her mantra. Seeing the work in printed format is the initial step and is quite valuable and therapeutic for developing all forms. Like Everything, Andrea Dialect uses this space as a test lab for test study and a test subject. Here you will also find influencers, professionals, and muses who are considered “clay” who lend their image to change as doing us proud who are contributors to the upward progress of human progress. It is a platform for the growth, inspiration, motivation, and development of herself, her subjects, and her readers. Enjoy!
DO YOU KNOW ANY OF OUR COMMUNITY ACCESS CONTRIBUTORS?
- IF SO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY’VE MADE THE CUT AND THEY ARE THE TALK OF LOCAL TALK THIS WEEK!
- PASS IT ON!
- LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE!
