THE OBSERVATION BOOTH
OP / ED & Photos By Andrea Dialect
Regina Moore (Finding You LLC)
She didn’t know me from a can of paint as they say. But meeting up with her a few towns over turned into her picking me up curbside a few steps away from the home front. It was as if we’d known each other for quite a while.
Our trip to our mutual friend (Evangelist Pamela Mitchells) retreat was well enjoyed, to say the least. Since our trip to Maryland, we have become friends, and yet again on today, she travels miles away picking me up curbside a few steps away from my front door once again. This time were not heading to Maryland but to a town over to “Inner City Café” in Orange (Check it out you won’t be sorry. The aesthetics are to die for!)
I would be burrowing image as clay to be shaped by the pen in hand. Thanks again, Gina. There you are as always, being caught red-handed in your loving dedication to people and service!
WALK WITH GINA
Andrea Dialect: While walking, you interview featured guests as live streaming. Today, you are that featured guest. Walk with me Gina…
Gina: Hello, my name is Regina, better known as Gina. I facilitate workshops and educational programs. I do group workshops for life empowerment. I also facilitate art enrichment programs. I work with Clients that have been through a traumatic event or are trying to recover from alcohol or substance abuse and /or homelessness and etc. I also work with children to help build resilience so that they will not have to go through the trauma of living through life as an alcoholic or any other life-altering situation.
Andrea Dialect: Many parents and caregivers are dealing with challenges when it comes to child-rearing. So, let’s talk about the development of our future generation’s future. Creatively what are some of the ways that we too can aid in that development? How can parents and caregivers creatively guide their children in their lives and give them a better chance of survival in this world and support them in their lives?
Gina: Because my main passion is emotional well-being, with children I believe that we should be able as parents and caregivers to allow them to get their emotions out and teach them how to deal with their emotions.
One of the things is to allow them to talk. A lot of times we as parents don’t allow them to express themselves. We see something that happens and instead of letting them explain it, we don’t. One of the main things is allowing them to talk.
One of my biggest pet peeves is making them aware that there is a God and prayer. We have lost sight of prayer. Before when we were younger, we used to say, “Now, lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep!” We had an awareness that something else is out there but, most kids don’t get that anymore. They get what they get from school and that’s the “Big Bang Theory”.
We want them to know that they’re not alone. That’s big in helping us with our emotional well-being. I read a billboard that said, “If you spend 15 minutes with your children a day, just you and that child, trying to get to know that child. You can make a dramatic change in their lives.” So parents need to know this and intentionally spend that 15 minutes a day.
Sometimes we’re cooking and helping with homework and other things, but we don’t say “Hey how was your day today? What’s going on? “Or even tell them a little about ourselves. A lot of children don’t even know their parent’s full names. My grandchildren at one time didn’t know that my name was Regina. They Knew me as Grandma; those little things!
I like to cook with my kids, and I like to go for walks around the neighborhood with my kids; it’s just using creative ways to establish more of an emotional bond and to build their well-being. Things that are easy anybody can do like playing with Playdough, or making slime; making memories like taking pictures, laughing, or just talking. Simple stuff like that because those simple things in life sometimes have a bigger impact.
Andrea Dialect: Many of today’s children are not going outside to play anymore and they are missing out on a lot of those experiences that were exposed to. What are some creative ways that we can make certain that they benefit from such exposure?
Gina: One of the programs that we are establishing is called “Off The Block.” It’s all about getting kids out of their neighborhood and showing them a different place, different houses. Perhaps going to Europe or Spain or somewhere else; just getting them out of the country and out of their state. It’s about exposing them to a variety of things. Some people have never left the state that they live in, grown people. The name of my business is “Finding You”. I want children to experience and explore these things so that by the time they get to high school they already have full knowledge of who they are, and they will be able to say. “I like this, I don’t like that, I do this, and I don’t want to do that” because they have been exposed to different things.
One of the kids that I was working with told me that “You can’t try to be somethin’ that you’ve never seen before!” so exposing them to different walks of life is key because everybody knows what a fireman is because they’ve seen him in a fire truck. Everybody knows about the policeman because they see the policeman. They know what a rapper is because they see him on TV. But there are so many other things that they can be besides what they see. But as far as the parents are concerned once again it is important to build a relationship with your child. Today’s kids are growing up with so many challenges and so much trauma and many are on so much medication such as anxiety meds and others. We just want to tap into and build those relationships to change that.
Andrea Dialect: What are some of the things that parents can do to foster learning at the home front?
Gina: Simple things like teaching them to do things like cooking, washing their clothes, and making their beds. How about dinner at the table together without the phones? Those simple things will help them explore themselves. I’ve come to realize that those who are about 18 to 25 don’t really know who they are. You ask them “Do you go fishing? “No!” What do you like to do? Do you like to draw or something or another? “I don’t know, I never did it before!” They are not being exposed to anything but TV and social media. Everyone wants to be a social media star. They’re into gaming, doing stunts, singing or rapping, and things like that. Because that is what they see and their vision can’t go past that. They need to be exposed to stuff like radiology, technology, science, farming, or even the things that you do. I was doing things with Lego’s with a bunch of teenagers and one of the guys didn’t want to participate. He says, “Oh no that’s for kids!” “Don’t you know that architects use Lego’s? “I asked him. They build their framework with them. But he just didn’t know, because he just don’t know!
Andrea Dialect: How can parents shield their children from peer pressure and help them exercise the freedom to embrace their own identity?
Gina: This was one of my concerns as a mom. But, because my children were homeschooled, they were around kids that were extra smart, creative, athletic, babies, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and those that were physically or developmentally challenged. They had encountered such a variety of personalities they weren’t socially awkward. Because if I am a fourth grader and I only have a bunch of fourth graders or my peers around me shaping my identity that’s not good. My children always had their own identities because of homeschooling. Just having them around their peers is a big mistake. Real life doesn’t go like that. Real life is not a classroom setting.
Andrea Dialect: So you’re saying that the world is the classroom?
Gina: Yes!
Andrea Dialect: There is a new culture where parents are not allowing their children to interact with other children or people in general. They are very unfriendly and oftentimes combative. They argue and fight and say any and everything in front of their children as if protecting them or teaching them to protect themselves which is the wrong type of gift to be passing off to the offspring. What do you have to say about those kinds of challenges? How can not only the parents be we as a society influence change when it comes to that?
Gina: Once again they can’t be more than what they see. My grandkids they talk a lot, they talk to any and everybody. They’re taught that we don’t shun anybody, we demonstrate that and I find that it is good but it’s also very bad because they’ll say whatever so we have to curb it a bit and make them aware by telling them that you don’t want to say this that or the other because you may hear someone’s feelings or doing that or saying that is too outright. Most don’t care because of what they are being taught or not taught, they want to hurt somebody. That’s what we’re seeing out there. We want to counter that with life skills and when we’re doing the family sessions that’s when we tell our parents you need to take your children to the supermarket with you and bring them to the Laundromat with you. The word says, “Train up a child the way they should go and when they get old they will not depart from it!” That’s not just spiritual stuff, that’s’ law. When they see how you handle problems, that’s how they’re going to handle problems. If when you’re talking to other folk and when they listen and you’re being respectable and kind they’re going to be that. If you’re always stressed out, crying and drinking or druggin if that’s how you handle problems or let’s say how you enjoy yourself, they are going to do that. It is what they see. It’s what they are exposed to and once again they can only do what they see!
Andrea Dialect: Lastly if parents could give their children only one gift that would greatly benefit their lives. Only one, what would it be?
Gina: I have to say pray with your kids…Prayer! Make them aware that there is someone else here for them and when you’re not around they’re going to need someone or something else to lean on. Death is coming for all of us one day. Everybody’s gonna die, sorry. When you go they are going to need someone else to lean on, they’re going to need stability. They need someone that is stable, that’s consistent, that loves them, and someone to guide them and prayer is the most important thing. Prayer is before brushing their teeth, before taking care of their hygiene, getting that A on that test, and going to school. Let them know that they are not alone; it is vitally important that they know that there is a God. They say that Harriet Tubman led so many people and she couldn’t read or write. She prayed; she said that something got in her. Prayer is the most important thing but after that I must say talk to your children, spend that 15 minutes and build that relationship!
DID YA KNOW THAT… One of the most quoted verses about parenting is found in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” (English Standard)
Top 10 life lessons parents want to teach their children
- Be respectful
- Be thankful for what you have
- Honesty is the best policy
- Never give up
- Learn from your mistakes
- Don’t be quick to judge people
- Admit mistakes
- Take care of your physical health
- Listen before you speak
- Spend time with the people you love
Top 10 life skills parents want to teach their children
- Basic cooking
- Good hygiene practices
- Drive a car
- Do laundry
- Money management
- Be aware of your surroundings
- Basic housekeeping skills
- Time management
- Reading and comprehension
- Make healthy food choices
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