THE OBSERVATION BOOTH
OP-ED BY ANDREA DIALECT
Love is universal, love is an intense feeling, and love is tender or a deep affection. The word Agape is a Greek word and a universal word for love and it’s a love where you love everybody across the board. – Omar
IS LOVE A LOVER OR DOES LOVE, LOVE ME NOT?
Do you remember my story about the two little girls that were visiting the home front all those many years ago? One was around 14 and the other 10, which covered their eyes when the couple that was acting in the movie that we were watching enacted the peck on lips in that flash. The eyes were being covered as the two bodies began to meet. I asked them what they were doing and in unison, the two informed me that what had gone on between the two …. “That’s Love,” they attested.
That one gives me a good laugh every time, even after all these years. But on the other hand, it has become a thorn in my flesh. Because seemingly those two little girls knew what love was and what it looked like a heck of a lot more than I did back then and then I do now. Sadly, oftentimes I have a difficult time identifying this “Love” thang, despite its form. But from a romantic stance, if I could just get my hands around the neck of Cupid, that little sucka, we as a society would suffer no more lol! So your girl doesn’t have anything more to say.
Besides that, I decided that I’d best leave it up to those who are a bit more understanding when it comes to loves crazy antics. One of those who have made love their business is no other than Mister Agape Love himself Omar Liles, D. Min. I give you the man!
AGAPE LOVE
Omar Liles, D. Min,
Certified Life & Mental Health Coach
Founder of Agape Love Network LLC
Agape Love Network across all platforms
Photos credit Andrea Dialect
“Many people in the past have made the mistake of getting involved in relationships or marriages and obviously, sometimes they find that they have made the wrong choice or they may have made the right choice and that relationship just didn’t work out in the long run. Some things may have come up and they just were not able to reconcile with one another.
“It’s not like the relationship was bad or anything of that nature. I think that’s one of the major misconceptions is that when people divorce people assume that something terrible has happened and that’s why you have irreconcilable differences. But oftentimes the two just couldn’t reconcile when it came to what they wanted out of the relationship.
“Also, many people believe that if your marriage wasn’t successful you won’t be able to give any advice. Yes, you can! You can tell them what not to do. You could still testify about the situation that you have gone through. You don’t have to necessarily be successful in order to give some sort of advice to a couple that has never been married. You can tell them about the warning signs and the dangers of getting involved with somebody that doesn’t have all their faculties together; people who have mental health issues or someone who’s a narcissist, those kinds of things.
“They can give warning signs about someone who’s abusive. When people get married, they think that everything is going to be in sync with their partner. But you never know what that marriage is going to look like five years from now. Everything starts out fine let’s say for the first two years and then the husband gets laid off from his job and all of a sudden, he’s upset about something, and he takes it out on his wife and the abuse begins. Sometimes that’s how some of the stories evolve. He was the sweetest guy and then everything took a turn.
“Next chapter after those sorts of things the thing about it is before anyone moves on to a new relationship they need to be healed and free from the past; because they don’t want to bring that baggage into the relationship or project that negativity because the next spouse is innocent, and they have no idea unless you express that to them.
“You have to have a clear understanding and know that this person wants a relationship that’s free from all of that. You must be free from all of the negativity too. For example, I understand that my relationship wasn’t successful in the past, but I now have the maturity and understanding and I know the importance of not bringing any of the past into a new relationship. I’m very mature about that. I know how to not project that kinda thing to my next spouse when I date someone who I love and want to marry.
“Andrea, I like that you brought up being a realist because in a relationship many single people. There are those singles that want to get married and all they can think about is that my relationship is going to be like this and we’re going to do this. They watch a lot of social media they watch a lot of movies, they watch a lot of television and they look at the lifestyle of what they think marriage would look like. But when they get married they’ll see the reality is not all peaches and cream. There’s terrain and mountains and hills that they gotta go through whether you have a whole lot of money or not…
“…They just have this fantasy about what life will look like. The husband and wife may suffer again from that layoff, and they say I can’t believe that this happened. Now she’s putting all the pressure on the husband or she’s putting all the pressure on him. You won’t know what you got until the pressure is applied. Many will hang on to fantasy until that pressure shows up. That’s the real test; are you going to stand in the midst of the battle or will you walk out?
Agape Love Network is a Christian relationship network it basically motivates singles and couples in the discovery of how to lead with love, how to deal with difficulty, and how to be comfortable in relationships. However, we provide crisis books and magazines to share stories about matters of life, relationships, marriage, and singleness. That’s what Agape Love Network is about.
There are also a number of things that we offer and do as an organization such as podcasting, speaking opportunities, face-to-face meet-ups, blogs, newsletters, and magazines digitally and in print, workshops, and discussions. We coordinate events such as conferences, and virtual conferences. Social media-wise we have close to 5,000 members. I coordinate events and people usually hear about the organization by word of mouth or it can be through the podcast, radio, or online. We have had a number of people that actually came public that met through the Network, and around seven marriages that were made public thus far. Because social media tends to expose a lot more than expected there are others that have to choose to be more private about their marriages, connection, and being on social media who have married. There are also those who are already married that have joined the organization.
X’S & O’S
“We curate a number of discussions censored around relationships, whether you’re single or married. But we don’t just deal with singles and couples we deal with family relationships as well. Agape Love deals with a variety of subjects. Clearly, our focus is on couples and marriages and things of that nature. What we do is we talk about various topics when it comes down to relationships and regarding either, we may talk about finances, we may talk about military marriages. I had someone recently on my podcast who discussed what it was like to be in a military marriage.
“There are so many topics and things to talk about like, budgeting, and long-distance relationships. Another was about love and relationship during the Pandemic, and it was based on how singles and couples survived during the Pandemic.
“We also had an event in May based on the subject. We had several different influencers that came out, it was an amazing event. At that particular event, there were discussions about how during the Pandemic when you had no place to go and everything was closed, when everything was shut down. How you survive as a couple, what you learn from your spouse, and how they survived as far as the finances went. How did you survive being in a house by yourself when you had no spouse that’s what “Love During The Pandemic” was all about.
“We also discussed if one of the two had been positive did they make love or did they not make love? Did you keep your distance or did one person have to stay in a hotel for a couple of days until you were negative again and you had just gotten married did you have to stay with family? Or you had to stay with family or you had no family to go to. Those are some of the obstacles that people who were in love with each other married or single during the time of the pandemic had to cope with. This was people’s private and personal experience at that time.
“There were some that I spoke with that said that their relationship got better because they were in the house and then there were those who split up because they couldn’t stand being under the same roof.
COVER WORTHY
“If you were to visit our website you will find that our mission statement for the magazine aligns with the network. Number one the magazine is used for those singles and couples to share their stories about matters of life, relationships in marriage, and singleness. So, the focus is to highlight people in a positive light. Specifically, couples and singles. Especially people of color because in the media all we hear about is divorce.
“All we hear about especially among black men and women is about abuse, divorce, breakup, adultery, and so on. So, I wanted to feature positive marriages. We also feature authors but specifically, our goal is to shine a positive light on our relationships altogether. We are not Jerry Springer; we are not like many of the other platforms where there are a lot of things going on. We are pretty much a platform and magazine that is into showing positive images; just people of color doing great things and having successful marriages and relationships.
“Our target market was between 21 and older. We approached marketing to the young people but however the demographic of people that we work with or have worked with was age 30 and over. I was just talking to someone the other day about this and me highlighting some younger people who are married and a lot younger, like in their twenties. To get them involved and tell us what it’s like to be in college and married you know the college-age student.
“Matter of fact there is two twins that I know this one is Terrance. He went viral on social media, and he is in medical school. I believe he graduated from medical school recently and he’s married. I’ve seen him from the beginning of med school and he’s only about twenty-four or twenty-five.
“That’s one of the things that I’m working on, getting the younger ones involved; also getting the older people to serve as mentors, those who have been around the block a couple of times, twenty or thirty years. That’s why when I do my live discussions, I bring on people who are seasoned. Those who have been married and been in the trenches to share that wisdom with those of us who are both married or not married.
LAST CHAPTER
“At Agape Love Network we have those discussions that are much needed in support of marriage and relationships and the culture. We have psychiatrists come on, mental health coaches such as myself come on. Licensed professional counselors come on and we’ve dealt with topics related to depression, and trauma dealing with both life and relationship. Being the change and or being in support of it is what Agape Love Network is all about.
“Agape Love Network members are pretty much a collective of singles and couples. Many of them are influencers in their own right. These are working-class people. The organization is not necessary about pairing people up. Our mission is to build people up to become better and more successful in the relationship that they want to obtain and to help them to prepare for that at the same time.
“However, couples do come in with the mindset to perhaps met someone but we don’t push that on people. People have successfully gotten married and connected but the kinds of people in the group are good people who are looking to meet and network with other people as well.
“Answering your question Andrea, “If it were only one tool that I could give to a person or couple that could really support them in their lives what would it be?” Oh wow, that’s a good question. I would give them the word of God. I could give them a whole bunch of resources. I have a book “Leading With Love Relationships” a workbook. I have of whole bunch of resources but the primary source tool or foundation for your life and marriage is the bible itself!
DID YA KNOW THAT…
In Christianity agape is “the highest form of love, charity and “the love of God for man and of man for God”. This is in contrast to phalli, brotherly love, or Philistia, self-love, as it embraces a deep and profound sacrificial love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstances.
DO YOU KNOW ANY OF OUR COMMUNITY ACCESS CONTRIBUTORS?
If SO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY’VE MADE THE CUT AND THEY ARE THE TALK OF LOCAL TALK THIS WEEK!
PASS IT ON!
LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE!
