PUPPET MASTERS…
THE OBSERVATION BOOTH / By Andrea Dialect OP-ED
Nature refers to all of the genes and hereditary factors that influence who we are – from our physical appearance to our personality characteristics.
Nurture refers to all the environmental variables that impact who we are, including our early childhood experiences, how we were raised, our social relationships, and our surrounding culture.
We must also include the psychology of Behaviorism which has a strong focus on the impact that the environment has on behavior. For the sake of argument!
Do you remember this Nursery Rhyme?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.
So what are little boys and girls that become big boys and girls aka adults, made of?
Child’s play is our focus in this space today. But, before we can appease their amusement, we must provide them with the bare necessities. For their sake, when it comes to the above-said subject matter, let’s pretend that they’re in the room. So, we shall agree to disagree.
In my opinion, when it comes to the evolution of humans, I believe that were chocked with a sprinkle here and a dab there of all the above. When opting to take that peek back in as skipping back into my own error-ridden trail as a mom to the five, I can clearly, see my errors of misjudgment or the lack of in many respects. Honestly, if I could do it all again, I would glean from theory much less, being that of others and as well as my own and strongly opt to be guided by my faith as depending on God’s unwavering guidance and the power of prayer.
Sadly, it was quite recently that I realized my faith to be such a powerful aide. It made my burdens easy. How beneficial praying in specifics without ceasing for my children and loved ones all those years ago could have been. But, both are now tried and true, and I can clearly see that it ain’t fail me yet!
Truly, it takes a village to raise children. That way, they get a little this and a little of that. But let’s also sprinkle a bit of behaviorism in that way we’ll remember that some people will rep what they should be and others what they should not.
Check out today’s Page Jacker. Can you identify the underlying catalyst to his preferred approach for child support?
We all have something to give to aid future generations. Whatcha got?
PAGE JACKER: GRUMPY – FOUNDER, GRUMPYS KIDS
“I was known as Grumpy as an Artist, but I began dabbling in radio about eight years ago. Radio was not my calling, but when my partner Zay suggested that we go into it I went with it. I was just being supportive when I said alright, whatever, but once I got into it, I was like, okay, this is pretty cool. But I needed something that would be universal to everyone. I didn’t want to be put it in a box as far as anything that I wanted to do radio wise. So I combined my name with the word, and it became Grumpy’s World!
Grumpy’s Kids Came about because I wanted to leave something for my daughter and wanted to create a place where kids could be kids. Because I wasn’t able to have that as a kid, I wanted to make sure that they had that place to be active to be energized, stay youthful and enjoy a kid’s life. So many kids today are forced to be full-blown super adults and babysitters as playing parents. It’s ridiculous. A lot of kids aren’t allowed just to be youthful. They have to be adults so fast, either that or they are always around adults and their conversations. When I was a kid, I wasn’t all in my aunt’s or my mother’s faces. When she was talking to grown folk, I’d be in the other room playing a game or something period.
“For parents dealing with sons. My suggestion is to always have things around that can expand their minds like books, puzzles, games and stuff like that. We, as males, like to be active. So it’s good to have multiple things around for those who are not that active and the ones that can’t keep still. These days it will likely be tablets or computers, but you have to add books and things of that nature.
“Another thing that parents must understand when dealing with their male children is that we need to have honest conversations – about everything, including the streets, everything and anything you can think of. Because you can’t really hide things from them because that’s how they slip up real fast and the streets become the parent.
“I kinda hit the streets way early. I had those things we just mentioned but. yes and no tho. My mother instilled morals and standards in me, so I had my own, but I still went out there. I still befriended the streets. It was a combination of many things that made me go there. Number one, it was no father there. So that was the thing that interrupted everything and that caused problems for my mother. You know what I’m saying?
“As far as discipline goes. You have to kick a–!
“But you can’t really discipline like that no more. So, you have to have do what I call extensive realization talks. If there’s no firm male figure around, you have to have real talks, and that’s with both the boys and the girls about real situations if you don’t tell them they’re going to find out on their own.
“For boys your bond has to be tighter as a single mom because there’s no male figure around. Therefore, your son has to be able to trust you completely without being judged. See what I’m saying. He has to be able to talk to you without judgement because that’s really what we want. We want you to listen but not judge us immediately! That’s facts!
“Also, allow them to be kids, which means exposing them or not exposing them to certain things depending upon the age of maturity. For instance, I’m very honest with my daughter. There’s just some things that she had to know. Just so she wouldn’t just roam out there and find out on her own. So, she could just tell me whatever she wanted to tell me without judgment. My mom gave me a lot of knowledge and wisdom. I was able to talk to my mom, but there were also a lot of unanswered questions. We were able to talk but not the way I wanted to talk. Now I respect why she probably didn’t tell me things, but it was a lot of stuff that I wanted answers for, like talking about my father not being there. Those things were never mentioned.
“See, those are the types of talks that I want today’s moms to understand that they need to talk about. Those spaces should be filled up – like not knowing my fathers’ side of the family. Or if I possibly have a brother or sister out there that I don’t know anything about. We had our conversation, but I eventually realized that there was something’s we couldn’t talk about. When I got old enough to realize that she just wasn’t comfortable with it, I left it alone.
“But I wish I would have pursued those answers. I often questioned why no one ever said anything about it. But I didn’t say anything about it. It was at around twelve years old that I learned to throw up the wall and protect my own head. I was always around my mom, but I wasn’t trying to be a mama’s boy. I had a lot of aunts who also kept me balanced, but there weren’t any males. So that’s another reason I went out there. I was also an only child. There were a lot of difficulties for an only child, and there was no one to go to if I had a problem. That’s where the streets come in at. Luckily my talents and the shows kept me from the evil stuff in those streets.
“One of the hardest things to do is to keep them out of the streets; you have to help them make the right choice between being home or out there. Just make sure that they’re well-rounded with love, information, and knowledge and skills. Because of the knowledge and love, I got from my mother. I’d think about it, and I knew that certain things were not right, and I’d say to myself if I do this, this is going to cause damage. I didn’t want to do that to my mother. I was already prepared, plus I had talent and that kinda balanced out everything. The next thing is to make sure that they have hobbies. You teach them how to play instruments; you teach them how to play chess, you teach them how to fix computers. You teach them things that will guide and balance them.
“The streets are always gonna play its part. But it can’t keep em if they’re prepared. When I was out there, I knew that I chose to be out there. I didn’t have to be. When people I knew were doing craziness, I had those things. They did what they did, and I would choose to go to that talent show over there or something. I was prepared to say yeah or no!
“As the only male, there were a lot of things I couldn’t tell my mother. Or let’s just say things that I thought I couldn’t. I felt that those were things that I should be talking to a man about. But I couldn’t. Who was I trusting as a male? I was only around my mom for the most part. My mother was very friendly she communicated with a lot of people. But I didn’t. I am a very private person. I wasn’t able to just trust whoever it wasn’t in my DNA like that. That came from always being by myself. I had to build that myself.
“Some of these children don’t have a choice. Today’s kids many are just lonely, or there is not anybody there to guide them anymore. When I was young, we had OG’s that would say yo take yo little blank home. They don’t have that now. The big homie is fifteen. Back in our time, your parents weren’t really telling you much because it wasn’t none of your business. Nowadays, they’re giving too much information to the kids too early. If your kid is watching the house while five or six and you are somewhere else, that’s a problem. Kids shouldn’t be watching themselves or playing parent to their siblings.
“The other problem is there’s nothing for them to do these days. They took away all our youth centers, and YMCA’s; most of these places have been closed down, or sometimes they’re used to house the homeless or something. It is still a few, but not many. We (myself and Ms. Hill) have impacted well over five hundred kids through our programs. All types of kids we get em all. We get adults too. Those that need help with their kids. I’ve been doing this – way before we put this together. My mission now is to get a building. I’m getting things solidified. Then you will see the Ms. Adrian Walker Foundation signage typecast across that building. It is being named after my mom!
“Here at Grumpy’s Kids we have a musical program; we teach them how to dance. We a dance program. They learn how to tie a tie, how to fill out an application, construction work, how to cut hair. all those kinds of things. I do presentations in schools and for different organizations also., and pop-ups shops, and more. Save the Kids Village is the mother ship. I’m still doing the same things that I’ve been doing for 25 years. I also have several team players that support the effort.
“There are a lot of organizations in our community that is supporting Kids, and we support each other like, for instance, “Joys Angels,” they are the best. Also, Tonia Champagnes. (By the way, I started with Tonia). “We Got us Kid” That’s another great organization. There are plenty more out there supporting our community.
“Today for the sake of our kids, we have to get back together. Back in the day we used to eat together, do things together, things like being in the same living room together, watching TV together. All that is missing now It’s been taken away.
“First of all, social media and the internet has taken away communication. That’s a problem within itself. When it comes to these children out here we must realize that they are the future and that’s not just a phrase. We need to really protect them way more than we are. I can tell you that. We need to pay more attention to them. I think that we as a people and as grown folk we have slipped and dropped the ball with these kids. So we can’t blame them. We stopped being their teachers and protectors like we are supposed to. We gotta fix that!”
