By Kristopher Seals
NOTE: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN RETIRED LAST YEAR, BUT 2020 IS SO RIDICULOUS I HAD TO.
Question: Why did the turkey stand in the middle of the road?
Answer #1: Two words: Social Distancing.
Answer #2: It’s dancing in the street because you-know-who lost the election.
Answer #3: It’s running from either Murder Hornets or Carole Baskin’s tiger.
Answer #4: Guess what? It’s STILL trying to find the mythical algorithm Cami Anderson used to place students in Newark’s schools. (NEVER. DROPPING. THIS.)
Answer #5: It got kicked off a Zoom call for being naked.
Answer #6: It’s going to the Giants camp to audition for the starting QB job.
You: But Kris, that turkey doesn’t have hands. How’s it gonna hold on to the football?
Me: How’s that any different from right now?
Answer #7: It’s going to the Jets camp to audition for the head coaching job.
You: But Kris, that turkey doesn’t have a clue. How’s it gonna coach the team?
Me: HOW’S THAT ANY DIFFERENT FROM RIGHT NOW?!
Answer #8: It’s got ejected from the “Among Us” ship for being “sus”.
Answer #9: Looking at the ground, it recently rained. Well then, it’s pretty obvious that this turkey loves some Wet As…Phalt.
Answer #10: It’s reminding people that no matter how absurd, heartbreaking and painful 2020 is, life will go on. Happy Thanksgiving.
