{"id":1777,"date":"2020-11-25T17:04:53","date_gmt":"2020-11-25T17:04:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localtalkweekly.com\/?p=1777"},"modified":"2020-11-25T17:05:04","modified_gmt":"2020-11-25T17:05:04","slug":"thanksgiving-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/localtalkweekly.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/25\/thanksgiving-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"THANKSGIVING 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>By Kristopher Seals<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>NOTE: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN RETIRED LAST YEAR, BUT 2020 IS SO RIDICULOUS I HAD TO.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Question: Why did the turkey stand in the middle of the road?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #1: Two words: Social Distancing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #2: It\u2019s dancing in the street because you-know-who lost the election.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #3: It\u2019s running from either Murder Hornets or Carole Baskin\u2019s tiger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #4: Guess what? It\u2019s STILL trying to find the mythical algorithm Cami Anderson used to place students in Newark\u2019s schools. (NEVER. DROPPING. THIS.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #5: It got kicked off a Zoom call for being naked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #6: It\u2019s going to the Giants camp to audition for the starting QB job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>You: But Kris, that turkey doesn\u2019t have hands. How\u2019s it gonna hold on to the football?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Me: How\u2019s that any different from right now?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #7: It\u2019s going to the Jets camp to audition for the head coaching job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>You: But Kris, that turkey doesn\u2019t have a clue. How\u2019s it gonna coach the team?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Me: HOW\u2019S THAT ANY DIFFERENT FROM RIGHT NOW?!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #8: It\u2019s got ejected from the \u201cAmong Us\u201d ship for being \u201csus\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #9: Looking at the ground, it recently rained. Well then, it\u2019s pretty obvious that this turkey loves some Wet As\u2026Phalt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Answer #10: It\u2019s reminding people that no matter how absurd, heartbreaking and painful 2020 is, life will go on. Happy Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Kristopher Seals NOTE: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN RETIRED LAST YEAR, BUT 2020 IS SO RIDICULOUS I HAD TO. Question: Why did the turkey stand in the middle of the road? Answer #1: Two words: Social Distancing. Answer #2: It\u2019s dancing in the street because you-know-who lost the election. Answer #3: It\u2019s running [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1778,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-us-world-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>THANKSGIVING 2020<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN RETIRED LAST YEAR, BUT 2020 IS SO RIDICULOUS I HAD TO. 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